This is for all of you who are facing the loss of a beloved best friend. It's long but worth reading.  There is no greater way to pay tribute to them than to open your home and heart to another in need...

CHOICES

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying. He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is somthing wrong?"

Edited by: Momcat on Apr 23, 2009 10:05:37 AM

Sorry about that.,  I didn't know the story would be truncated.  If you are interested in reading it, please send me an e-mail request at:  Susie_Squillions@yahoo.com and I will send you the entire story.

Hi Jules

During the past 6 years we have lost 12 cats and 3 dogs, all of whom were rescues and who actually rescued us in many ways. They lived long and happy lives with us and we gave them all the love and care that we could and they gave us so much in return. 

I grieve for them all everyday but I also celebrate them every day.  You will never forget and never fully recover from the loss so don't try .  Just accept that when you think of your dog, either with sadness or joy, you are honoring him.  Grief is normal and should be embraced.  If you do not feel grief then you never felt love.  The new batch of dogs and cats bring reminders of the lost ones (a flick of an ear, a wag of tail, sometimes a bark that sounds familiar) and it does tear at my heart but they fill me with joy as well. 

I look upon our adoption of new cats and dogs as a tribute to the ones who have gone, never a betrayal.  In fact we have set up a memorial to them.  Every month we contribute $5 for each of our departed loved ones to the local Humane Society.  A way of paying it forward.  Each animal has such a distinctive personality that they push their way into your life in their very own special way.  Just as with people no two are alike and once they are gone you will never find them again but you will always remember them and love them.

Dear Yukon,

Bless you for your big hearts, for opening them again and again to new ones who need your love.  You've brought me tears of gratitude today, or, as a friend calls them, "Love drops."

Edited by: Momcat on Apr 23, 2009 10:07:39 AM

In response to your comment that "once they are gone you will never find them again", I feel I must rebut the point. I firmly believe that we WILL find them again, either in this physical realm or in the spiritual one that is sure to follow. There are countless stories of beloved animal friends who have returned to physicality to once again share in the lives of their human friends, with too many similiarities for that animal's personality traits to just be a "coincidence". If with God "all things are possible", then why not this? 

And if we don't experience our animal friend's return to us in physicality after its passing, who's to say we "never find them again" after we, ourselves, have made our own transition? I, again, firmly, believe we will. So... if as the book "Conversations With Cat" is correct and felines are here to teach us "detached love", then let's learn from them! They would not want us to be unhappy because of our perceived distance from them, and neither, I believe, would our beloved canine friends.

Annie Sims

President, Positive Music Association

Nashville, Tennessee

candle3

i am so very sorry for your double loss, too much to bear.  my dog was 15 and up until 2 weeks before she passed had a pretty good quality of life.  she began having seizures, suddenly, and nothing worked, so we said goodbye on new years eve.  my other dog and cat were also extremely comforting to me during the time after losing her.  i can't imagine how awful it would have been to lose one of them 2 weeks later.

i have to say that it has been  a little over 1 month since we got the new puppy - she was 6 months old when we got her, and i am feeling better about the whole thing.  she is such a bundle of energy, and teaching and training her has been really rewarding. i am not going to say that you won't have a lot of adjusting to your new puppy, because you will.  i know what you mean about filling the hole.  remember you are not replacing, you are just moving forward because life does go on.  if we stopped living our lives everytime we experienced loss, we would never get to experience the joy.  and loss is, unfortunately, part of the life experience.  i have had people tell me that after losing a pet, they would not get another one because it just hurts too much to lose them.  i think that is selfish, so i have to practice what i preach. and too many animals need homes.

do you have to wait until June?  maybe you need to do something now.  having a furry kid to take care of fills up a lot of time and energy to help take away some of the grief.  but as i type, i also cry.  it just takes a lot of time.

thanks to everyone for reassuring me that what i am feeling is normal.

warmly,

jules

thanks for the reassurance that it will all work out.  we have told the new puppy she has very big shoes to fill.  again, I can't imagine not living my life with animals, so in my heart, i know i did the right thing by bringing her into our home.  yes, they are all very special, and unique, and it is unfair for me to expect her to be the dog i lost.  it is certainly not her fault.

things are better and we are adjusting, i think i just underestimated the adjustment.

thanks again for all the support

jules

Jules - Many thanks for your support, when I should be supporting you!  But it is reassuring to know that you are getting on well with your new pup.  Even that journey for me wasn't easy (finding a new dog), I live on an island and must import my puppy.  There are very few rescue dogs here and rescue organisations overseas will not part with their dogs out of the country.  I also had problems with breeders who did not want to export!  I finally got my 13 year old dog's breeder to put in a good word for me.  So I have to wait until the pups are old enough to be exported.  I know it will be a positive experience, even the breeder sends me photos every week, and I can't wait to hug and cuddle her.

You're absolutely right, life does go on and we must too, life's full of challenges, I think this is one of my biggest!!!  So we'll get by, and move on, but never forget the wonderful times with our beloved pets who sadly are in this world for too short a time.

Have fun with that puppy, I intend to with mine!

Hi Jules

Losing a beloved animal companion never gets any easier.  Over 50 years ago I found my own personal dog who came to me at a very low point in my life.  Eventually his son joined us and from then on I always had 2 or 3 canine companions.  Each time the one or ones left behind would grieve with me; and it sometimes seemed that it was harder for them than for me!  But we shared our grieving.  My previous girl shared our losses of her two pals within less than a year, as well as the loss of my mom and my best friend.  Hoser and I became crones together, she with far more aplomb than I.

I promised her that since I was then both retired and "disabled"  from then on any canine companion would be an only as I wanted to be sure I had both energy and funds to properly care for my beloved companion.

So when she went down at the end of 2000, I had no one to mourn with me.  That was hard.  I waited a month and a half before I felt ready to discover a new friend - I didn't want to "replace" her but get a new dog in his or her own right.

I'd decided on 30 to 50 pounds, short coat.  Hah!  Rounder, a 3 year old, big, lost, mostly Malamute chose me at the shelter.  After the "look" I could not, absolutely could not refuse him.  When the attendant brought him into the meeting room, it was love at first sight.  He came to me and thrust his huge head between my knees.  We went home that day.  Tho I occasionally thought I'd bitten off a lot more dog than I could handle as he had obviously been a yard dog sans proper feeding, sans training, sans affection,  Well, he sure wasn't what I "wanted," but was definitely what I needed.  Fortunately my first dog was also one of the stubborn northern breeds who taught me that the stubbornness hides intelligence and they do love to play game, so I just kept at training and he now is often complimented on how well he behaves.  He's my soul mate.

Take your time grieving and know that your other companions are also grieving.  It never gets any easier but each one gives you so many more wonderful  memories that may bring tears as well as laughter. 

Someone once told me this after I lost my beautiful kitty Krystle...you loved her, took good care of her and gave her a safe, loving home.  You can never replace her as she was unique, but now its someone else's turn.

I have shared this many times with other people and it seems to help.  I hope this helps anyone who has lost a pet.

I've heard that there is a great book about losing a pet, it's named Rescuing Sprite.  I understand that many people who have lost pets have read this book and have found comfort.  I believe it's available on Amazon and at bookstores.

What a lovely way to put it into words, PrettyKitty.  Thank you for sharing that with us.

I completely agree Annie... :)

-Al

Hi Al, welcome back! How is everybody doing in your household?

We are doing great - always madness around here, but in a good, good way!

How are you?

-Al